Friday, March 21, 2014

Cultivating patience


Well, not only did it snow here in Ohio yesterday when spring officially began after noon, but I'm actually back in the hospital (at least not in the ER this time), in the heart unit, because I had a bad episode of arrhythmia Tuesday afternoon (while having dinner with dear friends after my first day back at work and after teaching two really good classes). That episode turned worse Wednesday morning after I woke up and my new doctor direct admitted me into the hospital where I'm still at, awaiting to see whether the sixth and seventh new heart medications I've been on in as many years will work and allow me to recover some semblance of the life I knew before September 2013 when my workhorse heart decided to become a caballo desbocado.

I'm supposedly being released tomorrow, if my EKGs stay the course, when, in keeping with the universe's sense of humor lately, the weather is expected to take a 30-degree plunge and go from the sunny 60s today back into the wintery 30s. I'm tired of gripping about the winter but it's hard not to when we've had six months' worth of it this year!

Staying in the hospital, which I've done too many times since before being diagnosed with Crohn's Disease in 1988 (at least six since 1987 and that's not counting emergency visits), is one of those experiences that I always try to move through as quickly as possible and then try to forget just as fast. Still, I do remind myself that de los males el bueno (it's not the worst of evils) since I'm not battling terminal cancer or something equally hard.

Thus, I try to look forward to the good things I hope are coming, like returning home to my husband, my furry children, and my lovely home; traveling to my nephew's college graduation in May and to a conference in the Berkshires in June; and, celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary in July! They say one shouldn't live in the future but in the present, but that's when the present doesn't suck. When it sucks, having a future to anticipate and look forward to is crucial in getting through the present.

I remember a card I've seen in stores that says something like when you find yourself in the valley of the shadow of death, move quickly. That seems like sensible advice to me.

In the meantime, here are some recent photos of an expectant (and pleading) Chiquita, looking forward to one of the cheddar puffs I usually have for lunch that she loves so much, and a "breaded" Hamlet, who kind of overdid it with the catnip recently.


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