A lone wolf finds a small pack

When we first moved to Ohio almost seven years ago and I was basically on my own most of the time (my husband working at his new job and I with no other obligations than taking care of our tiny apartment), I used to drive up to the nearby town-style mall to people-watch.

I remember stopping at the Chinese-style restaurant for take out one day and watching a group of friends at a table chatting and laughing and obviously having a good time together. The yearning I felt upon seeing them so happy surprised me because I've basically gotten used to being a lone wolf, who can count her close friends with one hand (or less) and who's learned over many years to rely mostly on myself (or my pets) for company.

Back in high school, I had a fun group of very close friends, basically guys, and my dad was always making jokes about my being usually the only girl in the group. I also had a group of friends in college for a while but none of those friendships survived the drama of being in our early 20s or the years or the distances. That includes my most long-standing friend from high school. Our friendship of almost 30 years could not withstand my last move from Puerto Rico. He is now, basically and sadly, almost a stranger and I likely will not call him next time I visit the island. Like sleeping dogs, dead friendships should be allowed to just lie.

Once in graduate school here, I tried to make friends but the age difference was too immense and the people I met too caught up in themselves and in the drama of their late 20s for much bonding to occur. Soon enough, I was back to being a lone wolf.

That all changed, and all for the better, when I met my two girl friends, KG and TK. These are two of the women I most admire and like in the whole world, and while they're both about a decade-plus younger than I am, I don't feel the difference when we're together. And that's a gift that probably only a woman in her late 40s can truly appreciate. They always make me feel like a young woman, not the cranky bitch I can be, especially around immature and self-absorbed people (regardless of age).

That's why it was easy to put the Monster aside for a day to spend it with these great women yesterday. First, KG and I went to a winter farmer's market, which was jam-packed with people, and I was able to get some great Winesap apples (I love the name!) and some fresh-baked goodies for my husband. Then she and I met up with TK at that same mall and had lunch at that same Chinese-style restaurant and shopped and shared some great chisme and discussed movies and books and our respective men and work and politics and cooking utensils and fashion and food and whatever else came into our minds.

At one point during our lunch at the restaurant, when we were laughing and having a good time together, I was struck by how much this scene reminded me of that other one almost seven years ago, the one I had so yearned for. I'm still quite the lone wolf, but at least once in a while I have a tiny pack of wonderful girl friends to share a great time with and that's something to be very, very thankful for.