Endings

Another semester of teaching has ended, and while last year this moment was bittersweet, and I found myself actually saddened by the prospect of such a great class ending, this time I'm actually looking forward to almost a month and a half of no teaching before I start an intensive three-week program at my small college on the hill in mid June.

I think this year is so different, not only because the class didn't turn out as superbly fabulous as my postcolonial class was last year, but also because my Monster has been all-consuming in terms of actual and psychic time. Thus, it feels good to start shedding responsibilities and tasks and obligations as I look forward to the first free July and August that I've had in six years.

Now that the Monster is technically finished, I'm in the process of formatting it in Chicago style (which requires another Ph.D. just to figure it out!), while I wait for the last of the committee members to sign the form that will enable the Graduate School of schedule the defense officially. Once the form is filed, then I have until May 23 to produce the defense version of the Monster for my committee and the fourth reader to be assigned by the Graduate School. Then the countdown begins to the end of my identity as a graduate student, which should happen about 12:01 p.m. on June 10.

Now that all that was pressing is done I find myself, for the first time this year, with time on my hands. Once I'm done with getting the students' take home final on Monday, I plan to work for three consecutive days to grade them and submit the grades early so I can officially kiss that class goodbye and for good.

Then, I'll really have T.I.M.E. It feels like I should write it in capital letters, and punctuated by periods, because the first five months of this year have basically gone by in a blur of work, work, work. A mostly good and satisfying blur, but a blur nonetheless. Now I finally get to start paying attention to the details, to revel in the distinct differences between the colors of my life.

And I'm looking forward to July when the real time off begins. Some of my students asked me what I'll be doing this summer, and they were invariably surprised when I said I was going to read the 2,000-page translation of War and Peace, visit my parents in Puerto Rico, and watch Oprah any chance I got. I guess they expected something more weighty and academic. I'm glad I didn't meet their expectations.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, again. Right now, I'm just enjoying the feeling of ending another academic year at my wonderful small college on the hill. As I look at my appointment book, which this week boasted all kinds of different duties highlighted in blue, pink and yellow, each day was filled with multiple commitments, all of which have been scratched out to signal they were completed.

For the weeks to come, the little square boxes of my appointment book are empty, except for something penciled here and there. I'm going to sit here and look at the relaxingly (and thankfully) blank squares of my coming weeks for a little while longer, and smile.


P.S. Speaking of smiling, my husband took the photo above of the bleeding hearts, my favorites, so I thought I'd share it with you, too.